Dear future lover,

Here are a few warnings before getting involved with me (which you will be):

You should start getting comfortable with sleeping on the warm sides of the pillow,

There’s enough heat coming from us,

The cold side may not exist in our bed.

The Cold War could have probably lasted a 100 years with your exes,

Don’t expect that in our relationship,

I will be throwing fueled bombs on you, 

While running for scissors to diffuse them.

Don’t let my small size fool you.

You’ll be spending many nights awake; cleaning vomit,

Well, word vomit that is..

I promise you that our conversations will last so long,

The sun will be chasing after them instead.