All in good time;

Some people like to sabotage the world around them, caring less about what collateral damages others will endure,  They move with recklessness and leave every place with a stain for the next one to clean or carry, They are cynical with no sense of accountability or even a line close to it, their alphabetics are sung upon their own rhythm and they expect to get away with it as long as their act is good enough to be believed,  They spit lies and hydrate them with their own hysteria, their intention is unclear but they don’t really give a damn, now do they?

What do you do when this happens? Does it represent reality, or is it merely a crush? Does it fade away or should it be acted upon? Why are there so many emotions around it? An attraction that is reaching its maximum levels; What do you do when this happens? Blockage of feelings and emotions and thoughts and words and attraction; So many actions you’d like to make and so many words you’re craving to say; But what if they spill more than they fill? What if they overload and suffocate? What if they are out, with nowhere to be put?  What if? What if? And what do you do when this happens?

  The shit-scare of 28 March 28, 2021 - So, there’s alot on my mind, thoughts that come smashing in each time I am laying down impatiently waiting for the next episode to run (in 10,9,8..), or after a sigh exhaled post ticking-off a flagged email; I would call them "moments of realization mixed with triggered fears of all dimensions of past present and future"; escaping into the virtual world and digging my hole into one click after the other to hide and get the clock ticking faster. I do know that I am scared of settling, settling for what is “normalized” because of urgency or lack of choices, I am scared of not having choices and having life drive its wave rationally instead, I am scared of being caged within this society and the too-familiar faces around me, not even a slight urge to know a bit more about each other, just switching up our circles like a kindergarten game of who’s who. I am scared of me being this, not expanding or stretching the ropes of who I am, only liv

  Some days, I feel like I am losing my identity through the politics of life, diving into the daily routines and small talk that takes over the excitingly innovative brain cells, killing them within seconds in a route covered with fog. Some days, I lose my character. My charisma and my goals get scattered within the daily tasks and the heavy load of balancing and juggling life all together. Some days, I go to bed weighing like the daily news, and smelling like the Kardashians’ instagram feed that I forget what it is I am desiring in life within this scattered chaos.

What do I want this year? What do I want to establish actually? It’s boundaries Independency Self celebration Consistency  To make life out of life Feel comfortable  Feel at ease Feel in control Feel whole Feel aligned Feel safe Feel, with love Feel love Feel life Feel And only allow kindness into my life.