All in good time;

I was never the kind of person who paid real attention to the actions of others, or lack of actions per se. I would go through the days with the effortless pace of a tree that is trying to find its path through the soils, hyped up and all excited to go! You come to realize with time, that this growing tree will face many other roots in its way down-under, ones that flow with it perfectly, others that cut it off but with no real intention for harm, and some others, oh well.. you know. This tree grew to better understand boundaries and positions of power - as sad as that sounds, the idea that even if your next-door chillest tree in town wants to cut cross your way, you simply can’t and won’t let it, just because it is your personal space and that is enough reason. You start noticing the toxicity of intentional acts, and what effort truly means, what genuine behaviors are, and the energy levels that you have reserved in you the minute you meet and the second you leave, the ease you feel w...

Some people like to sabotage the world around them, caring less about what collateral damages others will endure,  They move with recklessness and leave every place with a stain for the next one to clean or carry, They are cynical with no sense of accountability or even a line close to it, their alphabetics are sung upon their own rhythm and they expect to get away with it as long as their act is good enough to be believed,  They spit lies and hydrate them with their own hysteria, their intention is unclear but they don’t really give a damn, now do they?

What do you do when this happens? Does it represent reality, or is it merely a crush? Does it fade away or should it be acted upon? Why are there so many emotions around it? An attraction that is reaching its maximum levels; What do you do when this happens? Blockage of feelings and emotions and thoughts and words and attraction; So many actions you’d like to make and so many words you’re craving to say; But what if they spill more than they fill? What if they overload and suffocate? What if they are out, with nowhere to be put?  What if? What if? And what do you do when this happens?

  The shit-scare of 28 March 28, 2021 - So, there’s alot on my mind, thoughts that come smashing in each time I am laying down impatiently waiting for the next episode to run (in 10,9,8..), or after a sigh exhaled post ticking-off a flagged email; I would call them "moments of realization mixed with triggered fears of all dimensions of past present and future"; escaping into the virtual world and digging my hole into one click after the other to hide and get the clock ticking faster. I do know that I am scared of settling, settling for what is “normalized” because of urgency or lack of choices, I am scared of not having choices and having life drive its wave rationally instead, I am scared of being caged within this society and the too-familiar faces around me, not even a slight urge to know a bit more about each other, just switching up our circles like a kindergarten game of who’s who. I am scared of me being this, not expanding or stretching the ropes of who I am, only liv...

  Some days, I feel like I am losing my identity through the politics of life, diving into the daily routines and small talk that takes over the excitingly innovative brain cells, killing them within seconds in a route covered with fog. Some days, I lose my character. My charisma and my goals get scattered within the daily tasks and the heavy load of balancing and juggling life all together. Some days, I go to bed weighing like the daily news, and smelling like the Kardashians’ instagram feed that I forget what it is I am desiring in life within this scattered chaos.

What do I want this year? What do I want to establish actually? It’s boundaries Independency Self celebration Consistency  To make life out of life Feel comfortable  Feel at ease Feel in control Feel whole Feel aligned Feel safe Feel, with love Feel love Feel life Feel And only allow kindness into my life.

Some days, life invites you in. It takes you in with warm arms and makes everything feel safe and easy. Some days, life overwhelms you with ultimate suspense the moment you set your foot to the ground, has your mood vibing to a different frequency than your surroundings, and has you ticked-off with every channel you try to merge with. Other days, life is the same road to the usual destination, it is just a day that passes by with no extra flavor, it may seem dull, but sometimes that is all you need to stay sane. And on other days, life cracks you to your every bone, has you investigating each thought, gesture, or tone until you go to bed with a heavy heart and a heavier head. On the good days, life pumps in you the energy you have been craving to keep flowing with the night, finally in sync with something bigger than you.