All in good time;

Adulthood is the sudden emerge of consciousness, where it starts to invade every inch of logic and reality you had built your past years upon, it fluids into the gaps of each childhood memory you can recall, until the ones trapped in the back start pushing their weight ahead demanding for answers. It is the time where you start realizing the effect of actions and unjustified bad company that have been feeding trash food to your inner subconscious and melting your mental health away with criticism and cynicism. It is the time you choose your life-path based on weighed decisions and sudden moments of ‘you know what, fuck it’ impulsiveness out of ballsiness and capped frustration, it’s where you create your mindset and lifestyle upon trial and error, actual likes and dislikes, what your body can actually handle, and not based on societal pleasures, parents’ unfulfilled wishes or academic pressures.  It is where you get to relive your childhood imagination through touching the infinity

For the past period, I had been feeling dissatisfied with life with a general meh mood and “okay sure whatever” behavior. Until I realized that I have been acting out on my own life because I have been looking for highs all the time, in my relationships, friendships, work, self, you name it..  The kind of highs that push you to wanting more highs with a demand of instant pleasure, and since you cannot get that in your daily life, and the pressure of having one is all around social media pushing the good life down your throat, you tune your mind into needing it in order to be happy, which is honestly purely unrealistic.  Until I discovered that what matters the most is the simplicity of having an ordinary day and being satisfied with it, having a cup of tea and actually tasting it without being rushed into the next big thing or another exotic tea that you have not tried but SERIOUSLY HAVE TO because you can not simply live without trying, these kind of scam trends pushing needs and mus

                                  Do you ever hear of a writer's block, but you're more concerned with the block on your chest, preventing you from breathing. Do you ever have the urge to express yourself, but you’ve reached the dead-end of a lingual road. Do you ever feel like performing an autopsy on all of the past conversations, in hopes of figuring out the source of your abandoned question marks? Do you ever have the urge to grab a drilling machine, remove the damaged clotted paths in your heart, and pave new roads. Do you ever feel like grabbing a pair of scissors, and opening the cage of your vocal cords, freeing all stuck words into air. Do you ever feel like expressing yourself, but your writer’s block is .. dominating with all control.

My dilemma currently is in the word; Invest. It’s quite known that, when a thought of a new project comes to mind, you'll make a proper plan in order to use your time, money, and energy wisely, you'll prepare for each set-back and possible failures that might come along the way, the losses don't matter as long as you have a plan B as a detour. You imagine all the possible outcomes and create a strategy plan in order to succeed with your actions. We all invest without knowing. It doesn’t always involve a precisely planned agenda with an escape. We invest in love, people and ourselves without being fully aware; reaching an end-point where we’ve used up all our chemicals and we are left with nothing but a burn.  See, when you look up the word "invest", it says; devote (one's time, effort, or energy) to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result. You’re awaiting a worthwhile result that will guarantee your satisfaction and one that would