All in good time;

Some days, life invites you in. It takes you in with warm arms and makes everything feel safe and easy. Some days, life overwhelms you with ultimate suspense the moment you set your foot to the ground, has your mood vibing to a different frequency than your surroundings, and has you ticked-off with every channel you try to merge with. Other days, life is the same road to the usual destination, it is just a day that passes by with no extra flavor, it may seem dull, but sometimes that is all you need to stay sane. And on other days, life cracks you to your every bone, has you investigating each thought, gesture, or tone until you go to bed with a heavy heart and a heavier head. On the good days, life pumps in you the energy you have been craving to keep flowing with the night, finally in sync with something bigger than you.  

Losing track of yourself, of an identity built around collected phases and phrases,  Digging its track lines into your body from head to toe, even before your time of birth,  with a pre-set expectation of you that you never got the time to grasp,  A continuous track record of achievements that define your existence and level of acceptance,  A pass/no pass sheet in peoples’ minds defining your worth upon their mere perception of reality for their present self and its current values.  Bullshit? Various meanings to tracks that can only truly be defined by your zest for life at the end.

Sometimes, you are too much for the world, And at other times, it craves every single bit of you. Sometimes, you are effortlessly in-lined with one person or a few, And at other times, you are perfectly in-lined with all that is within you. At these times, you are all that you are and you can manage to be,  You have the world to love you, especially if that world is inside of you .

I crave art, conversation and a sense that might spark a range of poetic chaos inside of me, in the past year or two i have been swallowed by the rationale of things, delicately stroking the politics that come out of mere interactions towards ego, money or self absorbency, or maybe not even.. a shed of light on the ability to survive with the world, in the world, and through the world, a deep exhaustion within one’s self, for being locked-in physically leading to thorough pavements inside our brains and vessels through even the narrowest ones. I crave art, conversation, and a sense of comfort, a state of easiness and fluidity with no need for a constant input or judgement or explanation or or or.. I crave art, conversation and delightfulness without the need to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. All i want is to wake up light and tuck myself in even lighter. 

Within this year and couple of months of lockdown, my brain made more conversations with itself than any other human kind, it rolled over the carpets and started dusting out all the fears and triggers into one bed to sleep in, it made a rollercoaster out of engraved emotions and took a deep dive into the lake of “life-meaning scenarios”, This year did not make it easy for words to come out, as if it took the warnings of spitting to an extreme sport and banned words along the line.   What i mean to say is, each one of us has faced their angels and demons in this year and has danced around on fire more than they hoped they would, the walks down memory lane burnt our feet but made the roadway in our minds a much clearer one at its very end. What i mean to say is, i came to realize the essential needs of my safety and fulfillment, the triggers to my fears and how to break free from my cages, i came to know that i am not too much or too little, and what i feel is valid and what i dislik...