All in good time;

Adulthood is the sudden emerge of consciousness, where it starts to invade every inch of logic and reality you had built your past years upon, it fluids into the gaps of each childhood memory you can recall, until the ones trapped in the back start pushing their weight ahead demanding for answers. It is the time where you start realizing the effect of actions and unjustified bad company that have been feeding trash food to your inner subconscious and melting your mental health away with criticism and cynicism. It is the time you choose your life-path based on weighed decisions and sudden moments of ‘you know what, fuck it’ impulsiveness out of ballsiness and capped frustration, it’s where you create your mindset and lifestyle upon trial and error, actual likes and dislikes, what your body can actually handle, and not based on societal pleasures, parents’ unfulfilled wishes or academic pressures.  It is where you get to relive your childhood imagination through touching the infi...

For the past period, I had been feeling dissatisfied with life with a general meh mood and “okay sure whatever” behavior. Until I realized that I have been acting out on my own life because I have been looking for highs all the time, in my relationships, friendships, work, self, you name it..  The kind of highs that push you to wanting more highs with a demand of instant pleasure, and since you cannot get that in your daily life, and the pressure of having one is all around social media pushing the good life down your throat, you tune your mind into needing it in order to be happy, which is honestly purely unrealistic.  Until I discovered that what matters the most is the simplicity of having an ordinary day and being satisfied with it, having a cup of tea and actually tasting it without being rushed into the next big thing or another exotic tea that you have not tried but SERIOUSLY HAVE TO because you can not simply live without trying, these kind of scam trends pushing need...

                                  Do you ever hear of a writer's block, but you're more concerned with the block on your chest, preventing you from breathing. Do you ever have the urge to express yourself, but you’ve reached the dead-end of a lingual road. Do you ever feel like performing an autopsy on all of the past conversations, in hopes of figuring out the source of your abandoned question marks? Do you ever have the urge to grab a drilling machine, remove the damaged clotted paths in your heart, and pave new roads. Do you ever feel like grabbing a pair of scissors, and opening the cage of your vocal cords, freeing all stuck words into air. Do you ever feel like expressing yourself, but your writer’s block is .. dominating with all control.

My dilemma currently is in the word; Invest. It’s quite known that, when a thought of a new project comes to mind, you'll make a proper plan in order to use your time, money, and energy wisely, you'll prepare for each set-back and possible failures that might come along the way, the losses don't matter as long as you have a plan B as a detour. You imagine all the possible outcomes and create a strategy plan in order to succeed with your actions. We all invest without knowing. It doesn’t always involve a precisely planned agenda with an escape. We invest in love, people and ourselves without being fully aware; reaching an end-point where we’ve used up all our chemicals and we are left with nothing but a burn.  See, when you look up the word "invest", it says; devote (one's time, effort, or energy) to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result. You’re awaiting a worthwhile result that will guarantee your satisfaction and one that would ...

Here are a few warnings before getting involved with me (which you will be): You should start getting comfortable with sleeping on the warm sides of the pillow, There’s enough heat coming from us, The cold side may not exist in our bed. The Cold War could have probably lasted a 100 years with your exes, Don’t expect that in our relationship, I will be throwing fueled bombs on you,  While running for scissors to diffuse them. Don’t let my small size fool you. You’ll be spending many nights awake; cleaning vomit, Well, word vomit that is.. I promise you that our conversations will last so long, The sun will be chasing after them instead.

It's quite strange, our desire to belong to people, to grab someone's heart and invite them for a swim in our myocardium and its pericardial cavity, have our hearts dance to the rhythms of our combined heart-beats and matching footsteps, have us create our own land, and dangle our feet on the walls of an everlasting well-nourished organ. How euphoric it is for us to imagine all parts of our bodies joined together in the acts of love, our souls floating together like a disformed ds DNA, each G dancing with a G instead of a C; forming a heart, having our chromosomes scream for more improper connections; only to have us broken at its very end. Love breaks normality, it loves destruction and chaos, deadly tides of emotions waiting for someone to ride them in order to drown on purpose. Love takes us off of our feet, shakes our whole world like protein shakes, and leaves us in a post-workout state, searching for a bed to rest in; So dear, Have a good workout, and try not ...

I don’t believe beginnings are set on New-years, or even on birthdays. Beginnings are fueled every day, the moment we decide we’re in need of change to swim into our potential and to create new chapters to our stories.  What mostly scares us in life is when we swim with the tides, like ordinary fish, and forget about ourselves and others around us, we dwell on the scenarios happening in our heads, to the point, where when life gives us a “Steady, Ready, Go” sign, we feel our feet stuck to the grounds, looking backwards and imagining situations of failure, while we see others flying faster than the wind to the finish line, jumping happily on the same line we’re sadly stuck in.  This Olympic race that we’re dealing with every day, a race of reality and expectations, makes us sit on the benches thirsty for success, while others are thirsty for a power drink to speed up and keep the race going. We’d be wishing for a chance given by the coach, for the crowds to give us a cheer...