All in good time;

Sometimes, you are too much for the world, And at other times, it craves every single bit of you. Sometimes, you are effortlessly in-lined with one person or a few, And at other times, you are perfectly in-lined with all that is within you. At these times, you are all that you are and you can manage to be,  You have the world to love you, especially if that world is inside of you .

I crave art, conversation and a sense that might spark a range of poetic chaos inside of me, in the past year or two i have been swallowed by the rationale of things, delicately stroking the politics that come out of mere interactions towards ego, money or self absorbency, or maybe not even.. a shed of light on the ability to survive with the world, in the world, and through the world, a deep exhaustion within one’s self, for being locked-in physically leading to thorough pavements inside our brains and vessels through even the narrowest ones. I crave art, conversation, and a sense of comfort, a state of easiness and fluidity with no need for a constant input or judgement or explanation or or or.. I crave art, conversation and delightfulness without the need to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. All i want is to wake up light and tuck myself in even lighter. 

Within this year and couple of months of lockdown, my brain made more conversations with itself than any other human kind, it rolled over the carpets and started dusting out all the fears and triggers into one bed to sleep in, it made a rollercoaster out of engraved emotions and took a deep dive into the lake of “life-meaning scenarios”, This year did not make it easy for words to come out, as if it took the warnings of spitting to an extreme sport and banned words along the line.   What i mean to say is, each one of us has faced their angels and demons in this year and has danced around on fire more than they hoped they would, the walks down memory lane burnt our feet but made the roadway in our minds a much clearer one at its very end. What i mean to say is, i came to realize the essential needs of my safety and fulfillment, the triggers to my fears and how to break free from my cages, i came to know that i am not too much or too little, and what i feel is valid and what i dislik...

We’re all suckers for watching movies with happy endings on rough nights to restore our faith in humanity and feel some good in the world, we want to let out built-up emotions into one outburst, we want to let go and let be without being judged, we want things to be a little bit easier on some days, and for some cosmic guidance to walk us through the nights without having to pay attention to the dark thoughts pushing their way through our minds. This year has been an exception, this year has been anything but a cliché, this year has fallen nothing short on touching all of our lives deep in all corners, this year has made every quote relatable and has made a museum of memes that will last a lifetime that no other generation will relate to, remember 2020?  People responsible for writing history books will fade into their own candle-light nights writing endless stories, and history teachers will probably curse the day they chose this job after today. It has not been an easy year, it h...

Do you ever just want to hug someone so bad, that it fuses every muscle in your stomach, and defuses every rational brain cell in your head. Do you ever feel so alive around someone, that the day flows by and you still feel eager to spend just .. one .. extra .. hour. Do you ever feel like your capacity increases around someone, filling the entire world with laughs and silliness. Do you ever feel your eyes widen every time you look at someone, trying to absorb all the love you are yet eager to receive. Do you ever feel like you’ve been surrounded with safety around someone, and can’t wait to share every weight of love and life with them. Do you ever feel like someone has made your emotions touch every color in one setting, painting out rainbows coloring life’s parades. Do you ever feel lost in your emotions and your sanity about someone, just because, they simply exist.

At times, I feel like a broken record, One that never got to sing its music out loud to the world,  Stuck on one track never able to reach the next ones,  Trapped, Until its own idea of liberation was to break itself.

Sometimes, this town sucks your soul. The familiarity of it all stops being so homey as much as a thorn sticking out at each corner of your shoe,  you look for a feeling of astonishment while trying to walk naturally around the blocks, but your life has become more of a destination than a wander for a fresh taste of wonder. The familiar faces everywhere and the predetermined looks, the frustration of loops and loops and loops of the same things, a broken record on repeat. It is when that one day comes,  One little thing intriguing all fury,  Or maybe a threat to humanity that demands the world for a change of heart,  Taking an act of courage,  Screaming for a voice out of frustration, illustrated in long walks and red national scarves, lockdowns and open arms. Reminding you of the integral cores you belong to and intentions of people who raised you,  People by whom the country was built, with their stories engr...